'Twas the Night Before

Twas the Night before I left and all through my body
I could feel twisting convulsions making me knotty.
The tension was mounting
My excitement was growing
for in the morning I knew I'd be going.

My bags are all packed,
my passport is ready,
my mandarin is shocking,
and my chest is still hairy.

George Bush is in Singapore on an Asian vacation
The extra security probably means cavity invasion,
by a chap in white gloves wearing a mask and a hood:
"Excuse me, could you please bend over Mister Wood."

Take off you shoes so we can check for explosives
please empty your carry on luggage of liquids and lotions
we would also like to inspect your latest bowel motions
for rubbers fill to the brim with illicit tablets and potions.

Your security clearance has been accepted
sorry for the indignity to which you were subjected.
its quite obvious (to us now)
you are carrying nothing that can be inhaled or injected,
No semtex or pointed sticks so you are not rejected.

Ah ha past security my plot unsuspected!
my mission to hijack the plane gone undetected.
like a man in a band carrying a Tuba
hey baby how about taking this plane to Cuba.



This top selling single can be purchased in the lobby after tonights performance.

Top 2 songs not to listen to before you hop on a plane

Laurie Anderson "From the Air"

10CC "I'm Mandy Fly Me"



Nite nite ya'll